A Relationship Guide: How We Generate Good, Bad and Ugly

 

A Relationship Guide: How We Generate Good, Bad and Ugly

I assume you are reading this because you want more in your personal life. You may already be in a relationship, or you may be looking for a partner. Either way, you know that things can get better on that front if you just take a better approach. Of course, a good approach is always possible. And it starts here: if you want a good relationship, you work on the relationship; If you want a great relationship, you work on yourself.

That's right! You don’t have to go to couple therapy to improve the communication of your existing relationship. You can do this without involving your partner at all. And if you don't have a partner, you can make a choice, you don't need to go online dating or clubbing. You can just sit at home alone and the right partner will come. You can become a magnet for love, belonging, and integration, until you achieve a single thing - solitude.

Learn to be with yourself first. The key to a successful relationship is the perfect absence of the need to be in one place first. The more you can create your own happiness internally without anyone around you, the more your magnetic force to attract love. Conversely, the more you need and the more you want to be with someone to meet your needs, the more you resist love.

So who are you Are you needy or are you independent? Are you angry at your partner for not paying enough attention to you because you don't respect your privacy, family or your needs? Are you blaming them for not being supportive, not making enough money, spending enough time with the kids? Are you annoying them for not being interested in your feelings or your work and not appreciating you? If you have such needs and you expect your partner to meet them, then you are simply lacking. As a result, your love is necessarily resisting. Understand that the relationship is not the place to get all those things. You need more than luck to succeed in the affiliate business. And the only place to meet your own needs is within yourself. Only you, as the parent, can know for sure. Importantly, in order for this to happen, you have to learn to be alone, not need anyone.

Explore your needs in solitude. Learn to be yourself. Learn to be with yourself. Take responsibility for meeting your own needs. Do you need love Love yourself? Do you need respect? Respect yourself. What do you need to understand? Understand yourself. Do you need someone to take care of you? Take care of yourself Need someone to honor your family? Respect your family first. Do you need someone to spend time with your kids? Spend time with them yourself. But please make sure you are really present with your kids instead of arguing in your head with your partner about not being present with the kids.

Hard to say easy? You bet! But you can do it. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. What are you doing when you are alone and no one is watching? Are you snoring, spending the day in pajamas, and avoiding showers in the morning, running, drinking, getting angry, engaging in gossip or wasting time on social media? Is it worthy of respect, love and admiration? Do you feel comfortable seeing your (potential) partner like this? Or how do you conceal that aspect of yourself when it comes to your partner’s insights (i.e. the part of yourself that you don’t love, respect, and appreciate)?

The bottom line is, don’t wait for external motivation so you can act in a respectful, worthy way. Encourage yourself to work honestly while you are alone. Go to your highest quality when no one is watching. Build your self-love and self-esteem internally. Once you do this, you won’t need a partner to remove your uncertainties because it won’t be in your first place. You will feel completely comfortable with who you are and you will not alienate any needy, sensitive feelings. And then - magic happens. You can suddenly attract someone who vibrates your level of consciousness: someone with high integrity, comfortable with yourself, someone who doesn’t put your needs and insecurities on top of you. Now, how do you think your communication goes? Do you have to pay for the couple's treatment? Do you have to argue a lot? Most likely, you will be on a completely different relationship planet called 'Bliss and Is'. And most importantly, you can achieve this only by working on your own. In fact, all you need to find love and relationships is to find yourself first.

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