Is arranged marriage better for society?
On September 29, a talk show about arranged marriages was held. For some reason it caused controversy. Two men and most women were upset about being forced to marry someone they didn't like. Yet, more than 50% of marriages fail. This means that most couples get married in the name of love, but the fairy tale ends in divorce. If so many divorces are married for love and the majority are divorced, what happens? Is love enough?
Marriage was arranged for thousands of years. This is a recent phenomenon that most people choose their own wives. An orderly wedding has the benefit of your parents and grandparents who shop for your partner. They are looking at specific families for adjustment. They will look after family values, attitudes of parents and children, socio-economic class, ability to manage money, resources, etc. At least they will marry someone of the same socio-economic class as their lineage. After all, you can get married. To do this, children need to be prepared to get married, understand their role, and keep family names.
Today, you are yourself. After all, people are taught to be strict and individual. And the concept of harmony has been replaced by love and romance. At the same time, women start 70% of divorces. Does that mean women don’t think about love? Does this mean that women do not value men? Or are men ignoring women's needs?
In the gay community, 20% of marriages between men end in divorce. As for lesbian marriages, 45% end in divorce. It seems that women are having a hard time meeting anyone. In fact, in the case of lesbian marriages, the complaints are so different that women are more likely to have unrealistic expectations about their partner or their perception of how marriage works.
That said, perhaps people are completely unprepared for marriage. Marriage is a legal obligation agreement between two people. Its origins can do much more than protect hereditary resources. This ensures that the couple has secured the acquired assets and passed them on to their children
Instead of entering into marriage as a partner, there are many who have fallen in love with Hollywood. It means lots of fun, excitement and surprise gifts. Withdrawal becomes a priority in building an inheritance. As the tension subsides, the so-called chemistry disappears. This is often the way to divorce. Or bad money becomes an option. When fun and excitement are a priority, you brain secretes dopamine from fun stimuli. When people no longer run out of dopamine, they will look for it elsewhere. In reality, it is like marrying a drug addict. They cannot function without their high. Going to the gym is a better way to get dopamine congestion.
In my talk show, we discussed how the advent of void marriages occurs in the United States. For the most part, it began in 1819 with a book written by John Keats. The name of the book is La Bell Dame San Mercy. It was one of the first romance novels. At first the book did not have much of an impact on American culture. However, in the 1850s, women began to crave the romance they found in Kit's novels. If you think about it, it could be the most damaging blow to the institution of marriage. How other books' novels were written has shaped that book. And it’s responsible for Hollywood’s love themes. People have forgotten the intention of marriage. At one time, harmony based on family values transcended love and frolic. Also, over time, an orderly married couple will become dependent on each other and friendships will be formed. Kit's book redefined the old social structure and led society to choose wives based on feelings.
Furthermore, in the 1920s, the diamond company Debiers created a slogan: Diamond is a girl's best friend. Before the 20s, only rich men bought diamonds for their wives. After the Debears campaign, all women expected diamonds. And they want a diamond that is bigger than their friend or sister.
The most interesting thing is that the idea of holding a diamond on a woman's finger goes back to ancient Greece. The Greeks regarded the precious stone as a spiritual power. Diamond was known as the most powerful stone. As a result, it is a symbol of protection. When a man left home for an extra period of time, he would place a diamond on his wife's finger for protection while she was away.
The feminist movement is the third aspect of marriage-damaged society. They refer to women as the institution of marriage where men have complete dominance over women. Men force women to take his last name. He then influenced his belief system and completely changed it. He kept her barefoot and pregnant. By that mentality women are married with protective and defensive feelings. The marriage was destroyed before it could begin. Besides, even lesbian marriages are failing. So it’s not about men. So what's missing?
In the past, parents and grandparents were involved in wife selection. While arranging the compulsions, there were many marriages that were made with the best interests of the children. What parents want is the best for their children. They would rather see their child in a healthy union, instead of a child full of strife. Through their experience they may have a better idea of what is compatible with their child. It’s not so much based on the child’s personality. It is based on values. When you add grandparents to the equation, it becomes easier to match your lineage.
Consistency and values are clearly demonstrated in Thomas Stanley's book The Millionaire's Mind. In his book, he writes about interviewing many millionaire couples. She said they experienced significantly less divorce than lower-socio-economic class couples. He said it was not the meaning or the image that kept them together. He found that they were better off finding a life partner who was consistent in values. In reality, the millionaire couple didn't have much money after meeting many of them. In other cases, the husband lost everything and the wife had to work. In some cases, they succeeded and later became homeless. Yet, they are never separated. The wife stayed with her husband even though she was sleeping in the car. At one point, their team’s efforts let them realize their success.
I say that marriage is based on harmony, not rushing on feelings or dopamine. Spouses and families are suitable when it comes to arranged marriages. They may even have businesses that complement each other, such as a herd of cattle. The other owns a leather manufacturing business.
In today's dating scene, when a man and a woman can know each other, a man can say something that women want to hear from him. When your parents and grandparents are looking for a wife, they are interviewing that person and family. This is a serious process. Therefore, it would be very difficult to be a player, especially to be involved with parents and grandparents. They may want to know if the person can run a family business. Do you have the qualities and responsibilities to look after your daughter and grandchildren? They will probably ask questions and get answers. That means games have completely disappeared, which is a source of frustration for both men and women today. When a woman is looking for a man on her own, she can be cheated and dopamine thrown high. In contrast, a woman’s beauty and body can blind a man. In reality, he can only take care of his resources. And he has no desire to be a good caring partner to the man. In fact, she may even deny him access to her body without having sex. There are many sexless marriages.
On the side note, many of you can randomize that you don’t want to marry someone you don’t love. On my talk show, I discussed a reality TV program called Beauty and the Gift. The show brought together 10 gorgeous men, including 10 attractive women. The geeks declared that these were women who would not have the courage to come to their real life. The women further said that these are not the kind of men that would interest them. Throughout the ceremony, men and women came together to perform certain tasks. As the show progressed, they were teamed up with different people. At the end of the show, I was surprised to see the friendship shared between them. The show was a social experiment that proved that even impossible people can create affection. They just need a bridge to bring them together.
In short, arranged marriages can significantly reduce divorce in the United States. If you have the knowledge of your parents and grandparents or aunts and uncles, it is possible for you to choose or add a significant other based on compatibility. Since feelings are fleeting, love can come and go. Consistent values, however, can be a stable force.
Moreover, since parents want their children to marry the best person, it would be wise to educate and prepare them for their role as spouses. First, it will make them more attractive candidates. Second, they don’t have to play trial and error in everything. This gives the marriage a better chance of success.
When marriage is arranged, both parties are actively involved in the couple's success. Since the whole family has an engaged interest in marriage, couples act as a support structure after they leave a patch.
Ultimately, successful unions will benefit society as a whole. The more successful the marriage attendance, the more people are looking forward to participating in some kind of union. Even corporate America will benefit. Imagine. On any given day, about 50% of the workforce divorces in the middle of one or only one out. It affects work productivity. Most people murmur when faced with divorce. If you eliminate divorce from society, you will create a happier and more productive workforce. Everyone won.
Read more related topic: Are you going to match your relationship?
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